Jokes for Kids

In a Nursery School Canteen…

There’s a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-

“Do not take more than one, God is watching”

On the other counter there’s a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
“Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples”…

NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today’s Generation..!.!

KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad…?

DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…

KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…

Moral :- Don’t be over smart…

Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head…?

Mummy : Because he speak only truth…

Child : Now I understud why ladies have long hair…

Don’t laugh alone, share with others

Bollywood songs for kids…

School: Ye Duniya Ye Mehfil Mere Kaam Ki nahi…
Tution: Idher Chala Main Udher Chala Janey Kahan Main Kidher Chala.. .
Maths: Ajeeb Daastaan Hai Ye Kahan Shuru Kahan Khatam..
Science: Aa Khushi Se Khud Khushi Karle…
Exam: Choti Choti Raatein Lambi Ho Jaati Hain.. .
Result : jab dil hi toot gaya ham jeeke kya kare…
Pass: Aaj Lagta Hai main Hawa Mein hoon Aaj Itni Khushi Mili hai…
Fail: Chann se Jo Tootey Koi sapna jag soona soona laagay…

Papa- Whom u like more mumma or papa?

Kid- Both

Papa- No tell me one?

Kid- Both

Papa- If i go to America & Ur mother goes to Paris
Where will u go?

Kid- Paris

Papa- It means you like ur mother more?

Kid- No, coz paris is beautiful than America

Papa- If i go to paris & Ur mother goes to america so Whr will u go?

Kid- America

Papa- why?

Kid- Paris to ghum aaye na papa

Papa- Jaa be Maa ke Chamche, jaa school jaa!

Bachcha: (Nal se aate paani ko dekhkar) Papa yeh paani kaha se aata hai?

Papa: Beta nadi se..

Beta: Phir mujhe Nadi dekhni hai..

Papa use nadi dikhane le jaate hain, Bachcha unhe nadi mein dhakka markar gira deta hai…
Bhagta hua ghar aakar Maa ko kehta hai…

Mummy jaldi Nal kholo, Papa aate honge!!

A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.
The man turned to him and said, “Let’s talk”.

Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?

Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?

Kid:
Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.
Why?

Man: I don’t know.

Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don’t know shit.. ?

Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diya

Ladki: I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi

Bachchaa: It’s OK baby, “Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain”

Bachcha: Doodh peene se rang gora hota hai?

Doctor: Haa, hota hai!

Bachcha: Jhooth, Phir bhains ka bachcha kaala kyun hota hai?

Bachcha (Doctor se): Kya koi bina dard ke bhi daant nikal sakta hai?

Doctor: Nahin

Bachcha: Main nikal sakta hoon!

Doctor: Ho hi nahin sakta, mujhe bhi dikhao…

Bachcha: Ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha
(bachche ne battisi dikha di )

Teacher: What is your mother’s name?
Kid: Kabhi naam nahi puchha,
Bas.. pyar se MAA kehta hu .

Teacher :What happened in 1809?

Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher :What happened in 1819?

Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years of age

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