Funny Jokes

Teacher bachche ka lunch kha gaya.

Teacher: Beta ghar jaa kar mera naam to nahi bataoge?

Bachcha masoomiat se: Main mummy se kahunga ke meri roti kutta kha gaya!!

Unki gali se gujre,
to unke ghar ka chaubara nazar aaya

Unki gali se gujre,
to unke ghar ka chaubara nazar aaya

Kuch der baad uska Baap bahar aake bola…

Hath pair tod dunga jo Dobara nazar aaya!

BREAKING NEWS: All ATMs in punjab are jammed and not working!!

Because, All ladies have put hair pin in machine
when it said..

“Please Enter The PIN”!

Lutero ne ladki ke zevar loot liye!

Log bole: Shukar Karo, zevar hi gaye, bhabhi ki izzat to bach gayi

Bhabhi Chillai:

Kamino…
Izzat bech bech ke hi to zevar kharide the !!!!

Father watching FTV,
suddenly son came!

Father: Gareeb ladkiya hain bechaari…
kapde lene ke liye paise nahi hai..

Son:- jab inse bi jyada garib ladkiya aye to mujhe bula lena!

Son was crying…

Dad came and asked, why are you crying? tell me… i am your friend na…?

Son: kuchh nahi yaar, horlicks ki jagah beer maang li, toh teri wali ne maara!

3 sardar bed par so rahe the, aur un teeno ko jagah theek se nhi mil rahi thi…

1 sardar bed se niche sone chala gaya….

use dekhkar dusre sardr ne use kaha:”Ab jageh ho gayi hai uper aaja”!

Three men were drunk & they stopped a taxi

the taxi driver figured it out that they are not in senses.. so he just switched on the motor and switched it off and told them we arrived

The first man gave him money

the second one said thank you.

And the third slapped him!

the taxi driver got surprised hoping none of them realized the car didn’t move an inch and asked for??

tha man said: saale.. aaram se chalaya kar, marwa deta aaj to!!

Girlfriend: Jab tumhe meri yaad aati hai, to tum kya karte ho?

Boyfriend: Main tumhari favourite Icecream kha leta hun, aur tum?

Girlfriend: Main tumhari favourite Cigarette Pee leti hun!

Girl in Shop:

Bhaiya koi valentine card hai Jisme Likha ho “Tum hi Mere Pehle Aur Aakhri Pyar ho”?

Shopkeeper: Haan hai…

Girl: Theek hai Jaldi se 12 de do. 😛

Teacher: homework kyun nahi kiya?
Student: sir, light nahin thi
Teacher: to mombatti jala leta
Student: machis nahi thi
Teacher: kyun?
Student: puja ghar mein rakhi thi
Teacher: to le aata
Student: nahaya nahi tha sir
Teacher: nahaya kyun nahi tha
Student: paani nahi tha sir
Teacher: arey paani kyun nahi tha
Student: sir motor ni chal ri thi
Teacher: ab motor ko kya hua kamine
Student: sir kitni baar bolun, light nhi thi na…
Boy: Tu kitne baje uthati hai?

Girl: Apna koi time nahin
jab dil kare so jati hoon,
aur jab dil kare uth jati hoon..

Boy: Notty!
Tu bilkul mere ‘kutte’ pe gayi hai..

Ek khoobsurat ladki bus stand par khadi thi.

Ek Naujawan use dekhkar bola:
“Chand to raat mein nikalta hai,
Aaj din me kaise nikal aaya”

Ladki ne jawab diya:
“Arey Ullu to raat me bolta hai,
Aaj din mein kaise bol raha hai!!”

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