Son came late…

Mom: beta kaha gaya tha..??

Beta: – Mom movie dekhne gaya tha.

Mom: Beta Kaunsi..?

Beta: MAA KI MAMTA

Mom: Ja beta upar ja nayi film lagi hai.

Beta: Maa , kaunsi..?

Maa: BAAP KA KEHAR

A Boy and a Girl were walking on the road..

They found a 1000 Rupees Note on the road

Girl : what to do with this money now?

Boy : lets take 50-50
.
.
.
Girl: Okay but baaki ke 900 Rs ka kya karenge ?

Kapil Sharma and a Girl were standing on a Bus Stop

Kapil: Oo Ji Main kha… Nice Lipstick

Girl: Thanks

Kapil: Oo Ji Main kha… Nice Top and Jeans

Girl: Thanks

Kapil: Oo Ji Main kha… Nice Earrings

Girl: Thanks

Kapil: Aur to aur Nice Necklace

Girl: Thank you So Much BHAIYA…

Kapil: Kamaal Hai, Itni saari acchhi cheezein, Phir bhi tu Bhootni Lag rahi hai… !!

Ladka: I love you <3 Ladki: Sorry, Main kisi aur se pyar karti hoon… Ladka udas ho gaya
Fir achanak bhagne laga aur bola

.

Teri mummy ko bataunga ...

Ladki: Ruk ja kamine, Main to mazaak kar rahi thi… I love you too <3 :-p

A Gujarati Bhai & Chinese in a train.

A cockroach enters.
Chinese catches it & eats it!

Another cockroach enters.
Gujju catches & asks d chinese: Kharidega?

Wife:
Jab Tum Desi Sharab peete Ho To Mujhe Paaro Kehte ho
Beer Peete ho To Darling…
Par Aaj Bhootni kyun kaha…?

.

.

Husband:
Aaj maine SPRITE Pee hai
“Seedhi Baat No Bakwas”

Pappu: Dekho.. Main Chahe Jaisa Bhi Hoon..

Par Baccha Ek Dum Sunder Hona Chahiye..

Wife: Dekho Ji.. Choice Is Yours.. Baccha Yaa
Toh Sunder Hoga Yaa Aap Ka Hoga